Avoiding the No word - how to change our conditioning to be negative!

In dealing with children it is easy to block their actions and intentions with a simple, single syllable word, "no."

How many times do were hear it when we go out amongst people? Can we avoid using and instead teach a principle instead?

"No you can't do that..." Easily said but then it creates a duality between authority and obeisance rather than a position of mutual equality in which information is exchanged.

Now, I think using "no" is appropriate for wrong answers. "Is the capital of France Berlin?" "No, it isn't."

But what about forming letters, as my elder is doing:
"Is this the way I form an A?" "It's better to start at the bottom, it makes it easier to form the A shape..."

Or:
"Can I have a chocolate?" "You've had a couple today already...why not save the next one for tomorrow..."

I'm going to try a week of avoiding saying "no" to my children and see what alternatives I can generate...


A few days later - okay, score coming in: two no's on the factual account - "no, that's not a brontosaurs" sort of reply and six on the "don't do that..." Hmm, one a day on average. I'll get that down!

Best way to stop the "don't" habit is to pause and let the negatives fly around the brain for a while, let the conditioned reflex do all its jumping around and when it finally runs out of power, think about what would be better said. Each time I caught myself uttering a "don't" phrase, there was no pause between what I was thinking and saying. Wedge a pause in a get a different result!